Archive for the ‘Uncategorized’ Category

My short story

October 21, 2008

Twisted Fate

Before the sun had gone down that night Taryn stared out the window of her skyline apartment. She could see past the tall buildings and the bright streetlights. She had been looking beyond that. The world that she had long since ignored since she left home at the age of sixteen. She longed for the simplicity of country life again. Fate didn’t listen to her when it came to that. Gage, her sometimes egotistical boyfriend had just left for the night. Just as he always had. Only the scent of sweat and Old Spice remained in her bedroom now. This was part of her escape staring out into space before she began working on her novel. She imagined that just once Gage would stay and be there for her. She sat down at her desk and began punching the key on her computer. Each time words flowed from her fingertips onto the screen in front of her. It was easy to write about him. The emotions were always raw and fresh. She loved him. At least that was how it was supposed to be. There were times when it felt like she just needed him more than she loved him.

Gage Davenport was a writer. He had been a journalist for many years. That was how they had met. He was the man who came to Palmen to write a story on her best friend’s murder. She never expected to fall for a city boy. He was a handsome man. Tall, and lean with jet black hair and deep green eyes. That wasn’t what brought them together. He was sweet then. Not like the cold, vindictive prick that he was now. He had sat for hours listening to her stories about Crystal and growing up in small town. He even had dinner with her family. After he finished his story he went back home. He never called.

It was a year later that a book came about the murder that reconnected them together again. She walked in a bookstore in Rochester and there he was sitting there signing copies of his book. She stormed over to his table.

“What the hell is this?” she asked slamming the book against the table.

“Taryn? Taryn Jacobs, Is that you? He said squirming in his chair. He started to get up and walking towards her.

She was angry. He knew better than to mess with her when she was angry.

“I should called you. I’m sorry.” he said putting his hand on her face. “The book was a surprise to me to.”

“How come I didn’t know about it before this?” she stared into his eyes. It was as if everything else had disappeared.

It was that day that they began their two year fling. It was never a real relationship.

His book had taken up most of their time. Every night he was on the phone talking to his editors, planning book signings and traveling back and forth to NYC to plan the next one.

She was never as important as his work.

The doorbell ringing had interrupted her writing. She walked over to the door. She put her hand against it.

“Gage, Did you forget your key?” She said as she opened the door. A single box was sitting there. It was her book. Finally she could be proud of something. She smiled as she opened the box. There it was.

Deadly Sins The pages and pages of words that sat in front of her were a testimony of her hard work. Two years of blood, sweat and tears had finally come to a close for her. The success of this book was the only thing on her mind. Gage Davenport had not kept her from writing. She had finally beat him at his own game.

 

Now she could finally show him and the world who the “real” writer was. She worked night and day listening to him brag about being a “real” writer. Not once did he ask if he could even glance at her novel. Taryn was certain that he had been oblivious to her dreams. It was her most cherished secret. She began writing after their first fight. The anger and raw emotion built up inside of her. It was a beautiful release. Gage had no idea. He didn’t even notice the nights that she stay away toiling at the pages of her book. His success was short-lived. That one novel that didn’t even make the New York Times Best Seller List. Only modest sales on the East Coast. She could only laugh just a little inside because the pain was still very real. She hated that he made her feel unworthy of success.

Her fingers gripped the newly printed novel tightly as she opened to the acknowledgement. A single tear left her eye as she stare at the page.

My words should never admit the real reason that I started this book. I believed for one brief moment in our lives we are destined for greatness. Some of us deny ourselves that greatness while others seize it. Those who seize their greatness inspire the next generation to grasp their glory or remain invisible in this lifetime. I

I have to thank one man for this book. His greed and selfishness inspired more than he will ever know. Gage Davenport, eat my words.

Her editor had sent back the book countless times for her to adjust this acknowledgement. She left it there just as it was. He deserved it. She picked up her pen again and started writing on the small card.

She couldn’t wait to share this book with him. Tomorrow, she would free herself from him. Taryn looked at the phone. She couldn’t call him now. She wanted to. It was going to be her moment finally.

 

The phone rang. She reached across the desk to answer it.

“Taryn Jacobs.” she said.

“Miss Jacobs, This is Detective Trevor Mitchell. R.P.D Could you come down to the station. There has been accident. The car is burned up pretty badly but we believe that it belongs to your fiancée, Gage Davenport.”

She slowly put the phone down on. She could hear the detective still talking on the other end. Gage was gone.

 

My first story- lesson 2 assignment

September 20, 2008

This afternoon was Day two of my online writing class. This assignment was actually my first writing assignment. I rewrote it three times and the feedback is awesome so far. I am currently working it into a short story. I am not pushing for a novel quite yet. Baby steps…. I am really enthusiastic about getting something done. It has been too long that I have gone with writing. I would share it but not yet. You will stay tuned.

I am taking a writing class

September 18, 2008

Really. After almost 10 years out of school I am official a student again. I am scared but oh well. Why not finally tap into my hidden talents. I have been gone a long time on the blog but I guess life just happens. Now I have no complaints. I love my family and now with both kids in school. I am kinda learning to deal with me again. It is not very fun. Today was my first lessons. There are many colorful characters in my class so far. I hope that I can benefit them as much as they benefit me. A promise that I will be back and ready to write soon. Bye for now

Letting go

June 2, 2008

A lot has changed for me in the last few months. I lost myself and then my grandfather . The truth is that I havent really found myself yet. The things that mattered before dont really matter as much anymore. I love my church and volunteering. I love learning and knowing about Jesus and watching my kids grow in that. I just not loving myself too much right now.

I had the past and the present behind me or at least I thought so. Things have a way of shoving themselves back into your life when you are most vulnerable. Now I am slowly trying to let go of the things that are holding me back. Todays message was awesome as it always is. My only problem is that I am not sure I really want to hear what God has to say or maybe he has already said it and I wasn’t listening. I dont really know the answer to that one. I just know that I have to keep asking the right questions. 

 

The lost eulogy-My tribute to my grandfather

June 2, 2008

The death of my grandfather

June 2, 2008

Most of you are not aware that my grandfather passed away on May 2, 2008. He was 95 years old. The girls and I drove 860 miles to my parents house to be there. When it comes to family we never use the excuse that “we cant be there” or we can’t afford it.

Originally I planned to share the eulogy that I gave then but I couldnt get it into this entry so it is seperate. Just click and read it.

The truth is since then my life has changed in so many ways that I forget that I am human sometimes and I have neglected this part of my life out of fear and so I move forward in honor of him and my love for Jesus.

 

 

Sometimes life gets in the way.

May 9, 2008

I have been gone almost a month. Sorry but I have been incredibly busy. I will try to be more efficient now. I miss everyone.

The Cow in the Road.( This is a true story)

April 10, 2008

This morning I had an experience that was rather odd for me and my older daughter. On the way to school we encountered a cow in the road. A real one. We dont know how it got there or where it came from. We have taken the same road to school for two years. It just stood there looking at us. Then moved aside as I drove by. Mia loved having a story to tell her class. The cow was gone on my way home but it stuck in my mind.

As Christians we often encounter “cows in the road” or things that distract us from our chosen destination.  Often times these things are called sin. Other times they are detours to a bigger and better destination. The truth is we never know where we are going until we put our faith in God. Lately, I have been not feeling God so much because I let myself get to involved in other things that werent even important.

This cow for me, symbolized some new expectations in my journey. I know that I need to detour away from certain things and take another route. Doing that is very difficult for me because I like the simple path that I am currently on. God has challenged me to get off my butt and try something a little out of my element. I definitely keep it posted.

On the other hand….

Sometimes “a cow in the road” is just ” a cow in the road.

 

What are we hiding from?

April 2, 2008

I just had an experience where someone told me that I couldn’t say something because people would think badly of them because of it. It concerned my child so I would think that I could say whatever I wanted about how child is effected by things.

I will not repeat the story but sometimes I think that people don’t realize that we cant hide from the things that define us. Some people that I have met over the years seem to be together on the surface but falling apart underneath or on the inside.

My kids are little. They are already learning that we hide things from the public. By wearing long sleeves or bandaids when we have marks on us that others questions. I can say that I am partly to blame for that. I dont want other people to question me or my parenting skills.

The truth is that I am not ashamed of the fact that I carry visible scars from my struggles with sin. It has taken me many years to realize that by not hiding myself people will get to know the “real” me. My struggles can help other people and in turn more people will learn how Jesus can work in their life. It just bugs me sometimes that other people feel better hiding than being themselves. In God’s eyes we cant hide our sins. What are we hiding from?

Are you listening?

March 30, 2008

Lately I have been in my “are you listening?” mode. The truth is most of the time. No one is listening anyway. My kids do whatever they want and most of the time they only respond to my voice when I say “time for bed.” The response is temper tantrums that make even God wear ear plugs. I am all ears on the parenting bandwagon. I even watch “Super Nanny” on a regular basis. My kids can give lessons.

I am not a single mom but sometimes it feels like it. I spend seven nights a week trying to tame my kids to eat, sleep and be good Christians. Sadly, its not “them” that fails most of the time but me. What kind of person can I emulate to my kids if I spend most of my time trying not to hear what they are saying.

What happens when the tables turn? Are you listening?